|
It was still
the morning of fires : the whisper of distant fires which would
never stop.
This is damned
silly, his voice said over the surface of the deep.
Finally
his mind was speaking again, he could hear the words forming their
own sounds, suspended above the vastness of everything gone, waking
his attention to the pathetic, puzzling projections on the orange
velvet insides of his eyelids. Pictures of past ancient weeks, beneath
his weighted lids, consciously focused.
A cold
gray cloud in the sky above, covering over the thought of a "Cold
War," still hanging icily down from the sky.
What
had happened had been so easy to see coming that no one believed
it would really happen. When he was little it was like a joke, "Duck
and Cover," the stupid Civil-Defense cartoons they showed on
TV with a big white goofy-looking cartoon duck showing how to hide
under their little classroom desks from the atom-bomb exploding,
maybe one at the Sikorsky Helicopter plant a few miles up the Housatonic
River. But Billy Barthelmas’ Robot Cat walking sideways was far
more hysterical to Hauberc, when Bill flashed his crazed scribble
cat on his drawing pad for him to see, from his seat two desks ahead
of his.
One mid-morning in early October, Miss Brantley was giving the history
lesson to her third-grade class: "Christopher Columbus believed
that the world was round, but he could not convince anyone else.
He believed there was a shorter way to get to China than the long
trip through the Indian Ocean. The people of Europe wanted the wonderful
spices and silks from Asia, but it was still being taught in the
schools of Europe that the world was flat. Columbus visited the
kings and queens of Italy and Portugal, but finally in 1492, Queen
Isabella of Spain believed him and persuaded her husband King Ferdinand
to give Columbus three ships to sail straight to China..."
Two desks ahead of him, Bill flashed his drawing pad with a scribbled
cat, and Hauberc broke out laughing, and Miss Brantley got frantic,
"John Hauberc, you’re going to the Principal’s office in ten
seconds !!" That shut him up. Then they had their "Air-Raid
Drill," all of them dashing out into the hallway to crouch
and cringe against the wall. But Hauberc kept looking over at the
wide window panels at the end of the corridor. But we knew what
it would be like – we knew there was a huge army helicopter factory,
Sikorsky's, only a few miles away, some of their dads worked there
– and they knew the big bomb would shatter everything in on us in
a terrible shower of glass and fire, or maybe just vaporize them
all in a blinding flash of negative atomic light ! It could do that,
like Hiroshima and Nagasaki – even bigger.
What
had happened had been so easy to see coming that no one believed
it would really happen. Yet everyone had lived in its fear, knowing
its irrevocable outcome -- everything sucked into the Final Conflict,
like the rush at the inside of a funnel-cloud running over the long
meadow of past time. The world had often come close to the edge
of disaster, like just a few years before now when Hauberc was fifteen,
and they took their seats on the school bus in the morning looking
at each other in terror that we wouldn’t be here to ride the bus
home tonight. Kennedy was playing a game of nerves and "Brinksmanship"
with Khruschev : would JFK get the Russian missiles out of Cuba
or what would happen ? They had all prepared themselves for Annihilation.
But after this approach to the brink the danger then receded --
like a great wave on a beach rolling back before coming ashore in
his dream. Except "this time" it happened, and the flood
tide did swallow up the shore and the inland with it. --- This was
the lesson and the quiet nightmare they had lived each day -- that
of ten thousand artificial suns suddenly burning up the sky ...
that nothing would survive but radioactive rubble and the few survivors
left in chaos... They tried to understand the reason it had really
happened, but the meaning kept crumbling, even the order of the
events.
"A
cold gray cloud in the sky above," covering over the thought
of a "Cold War," still hanging icily down from the sky.
Now it really was cold and it stayed cold ! -- And the cold cloud
suddenly seized its moment to fog over the Defense Perimeter on
the edge of his consciousness. -- Corrosive gas wafted over and
mingled in the mists of morning, just as mustard had in the Great
War, boiling away the only remaining links of sensibility holding
the images together. The fearsome question, of what could really
happen, had been answered, once and for all. This time the radio
said it was a "Communications Breakdown," -- yeah, right
-- then everything turned to silence…
The
words in his head, like rhetorical static, finally faded out, just
as a forest fire went raging through the hair roots of his scalp,
and a rush of creaking fear : his legs were gone, exploded away!
....But
no -- feeling began to seep into the veins of his extremities...
The skin all over now prickled, dampness pervading everything around
him. Reassured by his discomfort, he could feel how his body was
huddled, stomach down, into the narrow alley between old stucco
garages in an area of pleasant dwellings, the earth beneath him
a frozen crevasse.
In his
mind there was still something ruminating, but what was it? This
area was somewhere in the East, a Central European town, the name
of which he couldn't bring back into memory, looking familiar, though
out of context : Occupying the corner of two streets, the back side
of the nearby house gleamed an image that was strained through a
mesh of rusty, waist-high wire fence, like the last image he had
seen on the Distant Early Warning wall-screen
display, the radar line across arctic Canada which protected the
U.S. from Soviet sneak attack. (The corrosive "DEW,"
a fetid mustard mist that stuck to everything and warped his
memory...)
But the
place looked like the back yard of his parents’ house in Stratford.
From his earliest memories here, he was aware of the expanding universe:
At first he had been allowed to play in their fenced-in yard, digging
little holes in the ground, making paths across the back lawn to
become imaginary roads. Slightly older, he had been allowed out
of the gate, to play in the driveway and learn to shoot basketballs
through the net on the garage, high above him. Then to walk to the
corner and back under the nice pine trees. Eventually, he had been
allowed only to explore the whole town block on which they lived,
never to cross a road, but to find all the passageways and alleys
between the houses and between the garages back to back, and he
crawled through all the bushes in everyone’s yards. The kindly ancient
retired couples on the block often invited him into their kitchens
and fed him sandwiches and soup, and cookies!
He and
his friend Fred Pageant made the garage into a space-ship and rocketed
through the planets and stars. Since a child, Hauberc wanted to
be a Space-man or go and sail the South Seas. After this war, an
idyllic life lay ahead of him. … But not over seas that now boiled,
in this "best of all possible worlds..." hah! Being recruited
he had thought, by the time I’m fifty in State Service, thirty years
in the "Future," I could become a diplomat in the Mercury
Space Program... "How do you do, your Majesty? I’m Ambassador
Pangloss from Earth… You must have seen all those bright flashes
over there by Proxima Centura last week -- that was us ! We had
a war."
"Yes," replied Xerxes, king of Prolepsis, "we're
sorry for your planet...!"
Everything he had learned,
everything he had loved, or had hoped to find in his life, now was
boiled.
Now an
abandoned white house across its spacious neat lawn, like the one
where he used to live, now contained the same fragmented boxes of
motionless activity.... Silver-anode eyed bodies peered back at
him through their un-blown-out windows -- His mother glared out
impatiently at him from one of them... (Like every other middle-class
suburban community in the world, this town was now merely one plot
of the vast above-ground cemetery.)
Dim,
hazy gray pressed in. Something was still sticking into his side,
between himself and the broken-shingled garage wall, and forcing
a deliberate movement, he reached down and pulled it forth:
US ARMY
AR-15 CARBINE.
A
broken relic, it was his own now, without meaning, except as a useless
toy. There were no enemies, nor any friends, nor any neutral parties
he had seen for some time. Strategic Command had toyed with the
scenario of this disaster for so long, had programmed for every
contingency, that now there was nothing left to do. How could he
get back to America from here? Was he the Last Man, the opposite
of Adam? Was this like the Big Bang itself, detonating a second
time, the blast spawning a Second Universe? He would have to wait
millions of years for another human being to appear --
Perhaps
he would be God himself --
if he didn't
feel so dizzy, if he didn’t feel as though gravity was working sideward,
pulling him into every object he looked at; Death tugging at Life...
Strategic
Command no longer signaled his covert directives... He tried again
to remember the Contingency Plan, tried to focus, but amidst the
weighted horror of images, the thought passed, and his mind re-flooded.
Separating from shore, the radio drift became uncontrollable / "Frequency
drift!! I can't lock onto his signal! Oh, God, we're losing him
!"
That was
the last : a deafening squawk.
audio
reading FIRES ETERNAL MORNING
Chapter 1 -- continued B
"We're ready tonight." An unwavering, lost, sober voice,
that came up from the depths.
Abrupt jell.
Small,
dark, empty room, five young people, Westin, Ansgar, Opal, Frederick,
and John, as they called him here, sitting on the floor in a circle,
around a blueprint of the Communications Reactor. Opal, his friend
from high-school whose parents were Russian emmigrees, had left
art-school after a year, and taken courses for Electronic Communications,
and had worked at the phone company and now here. She had "borrowed"
the blueprint.
"Are
you sure the device can't fail?" his own mouth bubbling, vocal
chords vibrating.
"By
tomorrow evening, every government in the world will be temporarily
paralyzed,"
Ansgar replied.
"Temporarily--until our ultimatum is met-- that is, until they
stop governing--"
Blur
of
scenes flashing
by, dissolving into streaks: red,
yellow, blue,
orange, green, black.......
Running
with the others. Through pine grove, nocturnal silver-brown rocks
and erect grass-blade shadows..... Opal led them down a security
entrance into the underground complex, the steep metal steps scratch/clanking
beneath his boots
.....and
down
into the
brightly lit fluorescent corridor, walls wearily sighing with the
flow of the senseless motley of young freedom-fighters they called
"terrorists."
In the
adjacent computer-filled room, another iron-rung ladder leading
up to the Communications Reactor above was besieged by a forest
of adolescent olive-drab camouflage trees. This Pandora’s Pan-Opticon
system which maintained total surveillance, monitoring every conversation
spoken, every letter written, scrutinizing every word on the planet,
must be sabotaged.
--But
guards suddenly appeared, using their rifle butts to hack their
way through the thicket of saplings.
Hauberc
thought he must be dreaming, recognizing them as two teachers from
his high school, wearing guards' uniforms : short, intense Mr. Read,
the English instructor; and old, energetic Miss Wheeler, the eccentric
science prof -- tall, thin, and wiry.
Read,
grammarian and authoritarian more than teacher, advanced through
the swarm, but Miss Wheeler recognized the Natural Biology of the
situation and casually turned to leave the room.
Halfway
up the monkey bars, Hauberc watched as Read shoved forward
and thrust himself up the ladder in hot pursuit. Arms and kicking
feet snaked through the tangle of metal.
But the pulling
at John’ foot suddenly relaxed as Read’s pallid body slid
inert back into the open-armed motley below.
"Don't
hurt him, just get him out of here!" Hauberc shouted down.
What was he doing here, anyway ? I'm agent-provocateur, he said
to himself, though there was something in him being satisfied by
this membership. And this was what Simone wanted him to do.
...But suddenly,
almost to the top, the ladder negligently pulled out of his grasp,
allowing him to topple to the floor as well. With the sirens wailing
as if nuclear attack had been triggered, the floor itself was oscillating
somewhere between the ceiling and the walls. But his magnetic talons
managed to clutch hold again, his arms waving at the maniacal, deafening,
ultra-red spotlights...
Following the rivering glacier of adolescents, he passed the dead
Read (mr) sprawled on the kindergarten floor. No phrases
of pity or feeling came into his head -- the Death Sentence was
only an APHASIA of words in the oblique diagrams of meaningless
sentences. Only his facial muscles grimaced at the sight, acknowledging
the immense scandal of his situation.
Down
the corridor in a lobby-like area, the same inert teacher was also
lying on a wheel stretcher which had been bumped out of the way.
Hauberc ambled over and loosened the bonds so that the teacher could
escape before the building blew up. Read's thin lips smiled up in
gratitude but his Empty orbs stared at Hauberc, broiling him beneath
his jacket.
"Look,
I said 'Don't hurt him'!" he argued to convince the
corpse to quit bugging him. "Oh--go t’ hell!"
Fed up
with everything, he turned and trailed after the ebbing glacier
of children.
audio
reading FIRES ETERNAL MORNING
Chapter 1 -- continued C
Now Hauberc
wanted to write a letter home, the thoughts ran through his mind
in streams of words to say to everyone at home, and the feelings
and memories ran through his body like something electric had made
a short circuit, from his nerves to his brain-cells. He wanted to
write to each one he had loved before. He hoped they still lived,
he prayed they had survived.
Dreams
of each one possessed him, one after the other, as if they had come
into his life. But he wanted them back all at once, especially if
he had died, or was about to. He wished that communication would
be granted again. All these memories came back to him out of order.
There
was no really solid ground for Hauberc to walk over these memories,
to review the continuity of his life up till now -- all like a path
of broken ice flows separating from the glacier of time which were
laid out before him to jump across where he could ford, or wait
and dwell where the gap was still too wide. Each ice flow of memory
formed another part of the jigsaw puzzle of the massive ice-shelf,
another fragment of the series of events peopled with the recurrent
faces of childhood and those who had led him -- until the disaster
had left him on the strand, beached in an unknown but familiar town:
Images of walls, doorways, and trails strung together in an amnesiac
cause-and-effect of what was inevitable.
Walnut grain
finish on formica, the walls in a small elevator compartment.
Sensation of falling, falling into the Before Time. --- (The time
before the disaster had overtaken the Cold War rivalry now was eclipsed
by the eruption of fireballs, becoming the exclamation-points of
history.) -- Hauberc’s stomach was pitching around in his abdomen,
the elevator enclosing a universe soaring skyward in its shaft,
and he woke with the cold of gunmetal in his hands.
The lift
abruptly jolted, his stomach sent careening up into his rib-cage,
thrusting his heart into his throat..... The lift’s gates suddenly
slid open, blasting sunlight into the elevator compartment, flying
splinters of rays, splinters of rage, into the troopers' young faces,
bathing the whole compartment in a blinding light.
Immediately
he was repulsing khaki-clad figures with conditioned antipathetic
mutterings.
Upon an
architectural network of twelve-foot wide open sky-bridges, connecting
lofty glass-and-steel office balconies, a cacophony of sporadic
gunfire and popping laser-weapons striking flashes all around him.---
The concrete railings provided the only cover : There had come a
sudden alert to his unit, sounding shocking and stupid: Invaders
from the "Prolepsis Nebula" were descending from a floating
fortress. The real Top Secret reason for NATO's elaborate Missile
Defense Shield became suddenly obvious. These were not Earthly soldiers.
Yearful
hours of fighting passed without reinforcements, until the defending
force had reached complete physical exhaustion, streams of blood
mingling with the pea-soup atmosphere. And finally, he was rushing
to escape the carnage of strewn bodies, rushing across the latticework
of sky-bridges to find one remaining undamaged elevator...running
around the corner of the building, colliding with
Boxes.
Crates of unused laser
guns :
like
unmanned armies,
sitting
next to the elevator door.
The person
standing there was a little green invader, blocking his way. He
looked like someone dressed in a snot costume, yet somehow human....
Scared
beyond thought, Hauberc sprinted to an elevator he saw undamaged
by the blast; ran to the shade.....rushing for cover! rushing to
escape bullets as well as insanity, bullets as well as hopelessness,
and then he thought of Pamela.
The pin
of the grenade was already pulled, held close within his hiding
place, the catch released and he
Waited,
waited
(Elusion)
Still
disgusted with himself, his mind attempted to flush everything
that had already happened. How did they know that these were alien
troopers, as his unit had been briefed?
Was this
a loyalty test? The clock was running out for any more questions...
But the
red-violent hue of the morning's prologue again enveloped
the world.
Anxiety.
(The hell with these:
Melodramatics---)
He instead
let the grenade slide down the outer surface of the battlement,
where it blasted a chink of concrete that glanced off the side of
his head.
audio
reading FIRES ETERNAL MORNING
Chapter 1 -- continued D
Low-yield
photon shells and neutron-radiation had taken a sizable toll on
the area, especially in the part of Stratford that lay south of
US-1. Most buildings still stood, but as little more than hollowed
halls.
GRAND-WAY
DEPARTMENT STORE
crates in
crumpled five foot high piles by the unloading dock were good cover
from stray bullets.
He couldn't
understand why it had happened so fast though. One short-circuit
in the Communications Reactor had blown the whole scene into complete
pandemonium. When they couldn't pick up BBC or Radio Moscow, that
was finally definite -- since then the radio waves were completely
blank. How the hell had he gotten back to his home town? He realized
that he
was walking
from the direction of Stratford airport in the south end of town,
but it seemed like he hadn’t been too conscious for miles or days,
if he had been flown across the ocean. The transport plane had landed
on the runway, let him out wordlessly, and taken off again. The
others barely had looked up from their kips laid out cabin floor.
Even the
radio communications shack seemed like the den at home where he
used to listen avidly to the world day and night.
Early
morning sun was not yet risen above the drab white-cloud ceiling,
but shone yellow on the white-washed side of a building.
He was
kicking his way through the rubble, discarded cardboard and wooden
delivery crates. Less than a mile yet to walk, he was still not
yet home, when an older voice turned him around to a man leaning
by the Meat & Produce - Night Delivery Entrance.
"Hey
there, son. Where're you going?" The man was holding
a rifle pointed at him.
"Hey,"
he flipped back. Who the hell was calling him that..?
"You
live around here? Don't I know you?"
Someone
was keeping a vigil, an even tone of voice, not much older than
he.
"Yeah,
up the stream by Brewster's Pond ...I was stationed in Europe and
I haven't been home since Before...John Hauberc." (He decided
not to mention "military intelligence" or "Co-IntelPro.")
"Oh,
yeah...OK, I remember you -- little Johnny Ho-berk." The face
was more at ease, though not yet trusting, while more vigilante-militia
types suddenly arrived in two dusty and dirty automobiles, still
with fuel, and crowded around, blindly muttering like good-old-boys,
about what excitement was up for the afternoon. "How did Europe
come through this ?"
"They’re
fucked too."
"Hey,
Hoberk," another quizzed, "you know anything about these
subversives still hiding out around the college.? " His
blank expression held their attention a moment a bit too long for
him.
"He’s
OK. He was military," the first accoster put in.
Blood-thirsty
unrest was growing. "OK you guys, let's go over the University
of Bridgeport and see what we can stir up from the rats’ nest."
"communistsqueersbeatnikpinkoanarchists"
The group
and their rifles had soon jumped into their cars again and gone
racing across the wide asphalt plain.
Coming
upstream, Long Brook Park still looked intact, the trees standing,
and the old-fashioned horse-shoe shaped gravel-bottom pool where
we swam as children, still pretty. But walking north up Charlton
Street hill out the other side, where the houses on the left side
overlooked the woods and field on the right all looked abandoned
or evacuated. Only a few hundred feet to go… then into his driveway
and back yard … and up the back walk of his family's house. Heavy
Rain drops were beginning to thump the dry earth.
The back
door ajar, he pushed it in softly and walked into the back hall
-- the notes left on the side stovetop already visible in the kitchen
ahead...
.. a heart-in-throat
eternity of four or five steps ---
"John
and Juno,
Why aren’t you back yet? --- I cant keep going like this..
Seams of the world are falling apart, I'm so sick
--- Must be
the Radiation sickness now ---
Love,
Mama "
There was nothing from his father except in Juno's handwriting :
"John, if you ever read this, Daddy went for help for Mom when
I came here yesterday morning. He said to wait here but its too
late. I'm heart broken, he thought I was already gone -- he couldn't
even see me sitting in the chair. Can't stay here anymore -
Love
Always, Sis
"No more
bones or people or Cycle Two.
Very Sad.
Good-bye.
Love,
O O
O O
ooo
RUFF
Hopeless
pools were before his eyes as he stumbled through the dining room
and out onto the screened terrace. The other houses on this shady
corner of Laughlin and Charlton looked the same. "If only I
had come back sooner," he thought, she wouldn't be gone too.
(He had thought of how he had left her alone to contend with their
same non-sense; but she had always adapted so well).
now, no one,
nothing but despair. If only to see her face.
Under a threatening
blackening sky outside, a mild gust rustled through the trees, bouncing
between upturned silver-green leaves... falling to utter calm in
attendance to the approaching deluge.
Up and
over the step / escaping the thunderhead fallout storm back into
the house, back through the living room, over the stair-case landing,
around into the kitchen again -- but a noise. the sound of muffled
whimpering from upstairs; and he ran up the down-speeding escalator,
up to the summit and left into a pink garden room of light perfume
and peacock feathers) to sister (who turns around from looking out
the window, as the large drops thump the windowsill).
audio
reading FIRES ETERNAL MORNING
Chapter 1 -- continued E
Tomorrow,
he walked up Laughlin Road, shuffling through the upper field of
Brewster’s Pond,
up Plymouth
Street, and out into the Paradise Green shopping district on Main
Street, all the stores looked like they were only closed for a holiday….
He hiked slowly north up Main a mile, and branched west onto Cutspring
Road. There was something else he needed to know...
It was the
next afternoon, the sun shining again almost normally, but still
an aloneness of desperation. He wondered whether there were any
others searching the town, faces he could trust from his childhood
besides those armed vigilantes prowling around.
He wandered
out of his delusion, with some sense of hope. There was a pleasure
walk route he had taken often with Pamela, passing through residential
streets of modern Colonial style homes separated from each other
by wide well-kept lawns with no sidewalks on their edges... The
road skirted the base of a wooded ridge on the left, where streets
with names like Wigwam Lane and Anson Street came down the hill.
To the right, further out past the modern split-levels, the scenic
fairways and greens of a country club golf course sprawled out to
the north.
The green
stucco house up the hill on the left was Pamela's parent's house,
the Richardsons./ It seemed now that "virtue had been rewarded,"
she at least could have gone to heaven in a state of Catholic grace...
Still, he wished he could simply go to her house and find her there,
and take her in his arms, but it was impossible.. The futile surge
rising in his chest was sweeping through his entire consciousness:
As much as they both had felt the intensity of love, she had never
let him say it or show it, and they had hovered on the verge of
consummation, before/ Now there was only emptiness -- now he could
never tell her how strongly it had lingered since their separation
-- Now at NYU, her last letter, sent before his U2 mission, but
received days after it, mentioned someone new in her life, "a really
brilliant chemistry student" at Brooklyn Polytech.
He had
dreamed of her promise to come and meet him in Madrid. -- But a
submerged glowing-cobalt zone of total ocean stillness in the wavy
deep blue Bay of Biscay, visible from his U2 surveillance plane
high above the north coast of Spain -- had engulfed that dream into
the depths, the depths of despair.
All night
moths had crisped themselves on the white-hot pencil-thick spotlight
filament outside, sending up milky billows of smoke.
Foggy
grayness was once more pressing in :
Everything
in the small, first-floor den of the safe-house was yet intact.
Perhaps mummified in the stifling room, unventilated with its windows
shut.
The sun
still made its daily watchman rounds over the dead planet.
Crackling
on the array of short-wave radio receivers/ static of the outside
world--- Back in this fucking listening post, recovering from his
head wound; a desperate aloneness pausing and waiting for reply
from anywhere beyond this room. They disguised their identity with
the plaintive radio amateur call "CQ? CQ? calling CQ....."
Seeking
anyone …. Seek You… ?
Half-closed
venetian-blinds cast diagonal patterns of fuzzy sun rays across
the pink walls
and shelves
of the large radio rig. But there wasn’t one radio signal to be
heard over the air.
"Try
the twenty-meter band," the second operator urged. In a dream,
before, it had been his sister sitting next to him when they were
children, now it was the slightly buxom "Opalescent,"
now a communications expert, who always seemed to forget the top
three buttons of her khaki shirt....
"I
don't think it'll do any good, but --" His hand slowly twisted
the dial ...... 12000 khz ...... 15000 khz ...... 11000
nothing
No Strategic
Air Command Single-Side-Band, nor
Radio Moscow,
BBC, nor ---
--- breaking
through the silence, suddenly, -"Pine Cone, Pine Cone, this
is Fig Leaf "-
"That's
him!!" Hauberc flicked on the transmitter.
Something
was finally coming through.
They
began to hum as forcefully as they could, to make an audible carrier-wave,
until the room vibrated with power. "Fig Leaf, Fig Leaf, this
is Pine Cone, go ahead."
-"...Cone,
Pine Cone, this is Fig Leaf, come in please."- They hummed
again, louder. But their emulation seemed to have no effect on Fig
Leaf, he wasn't even listening.
"Why
won't he answer?" the second operator asked.
"I
don't know but he's gone."
His hand
rotated the band selector, tuning to lower frequencies ... 2182
khz. (Marine Distress Band.) ...880...540...432...363... till the
wavelengths stretched out to infinity...
A Tremor of terror and suddenly he awoke in bed in the middle of
the night, his eyes still closed in the dark of his parents’ house.
There were still these slow Seismic Vibrations, a rumble winding
down to slower than one wave per second, the Earth tremor’s rhythm
rumbling the entire house, unsettling the darkness; now indistinguishable
from his heart heavily beating. In the split-instant he had awoken,
he thought he had heard a muffled female voice like a coo, and wondered
if it had woken his parents in the next room too ? -- But nothing
more; and his next thought, while his eyes were still closed in
the inky velvet, was that the vibrations were generated closer,
like in the dark of the next room. Stopped and restarted, like someone
waiting for him to fall off into sleep again ...
Modulation
crackle, like a signal transmitted from mind to mind, "Fig
Leaf calling Pine Cone, come-in please," an authoritarian voice
in his head like his father’s or his commander’s ......"You
must tune your receiver out of the low frequency range, Pine Cone.
You're not supposed to be monitoring this wave-length. Tune to higher
frequencies !! You're not old enough yet ---"
waver
and fizzle and he slipped in again,
Frantic
dial 2300 khz ... 2500 ... 2800 ...
3200 ...
3800 ... 7500 desperate
frantic points
of infinite wavelengths on a parched yellow radio dial of dream
were sliding away, now totally dead
and then
the soup-thick gray fog swept onto the bare-footed beach.. Nearby
friends became Blurs became Shadows became Fossils on the steep
sandy slope.
In staggering
blinded steps --
contact
was lost,
until, he
felt the sudden searing pain through the sole of his foot:
Glinting
in a shrouded shaft of sunlight, the strait pin he had stepped on
protruded from the tender bottom. He lifted his foot and carefully
pulled it out, but solenoids flickered within the wound.
And the
heart inside him Pounding Squishing Throbbing,
hammering
the beach into wakefulness
The blood between the warm bedclothes,
roaring through
firehose veins. "Dead, death.
This is
it."
and the
surf crashing, breaking out of his chest
cavity.
"I'm dead, but I accept it." And the luminous
night-table
clock hands were yet moving,
so slowly.
|